


Breaking the Silence

by RinHaruismyOTP



Series: Unconnected Merthur Works [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arthur Finds Out, Canon Era, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Post-Magic Reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 06:09:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7032409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RinHaruismyOTP/pseuds/RinHaruismyOTP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin seemed to find the silence just as harsh as Arthur did, and he cleared his throat. “I’ll- I’ll leave,” he said quietly, and despite himself Arthur felt panic rise up in his chest at the idea of him going. “Not forever, just- just long enough for you to decide what to do. Objectively.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking the Silence

_The silence was suffocating, but Arthur found himself with no words to fill it. What could he say, what could he do now? But that wasn’t it, there was so much he_ could _do, that he_ could _say, the issue was what he_ would _do._

_Merlin seemed to find the silence just as harsh as Arthur did, and he cleared his throat. “I’ll- I’ll leave,” he said quietly, and despite himself Arthur felt panic rise up in his chest at the idea of him going. “Not forever, just- just long enough for you to decide what to do. Objectively.”_

_He’d left Arthur’s chambers before Arthur had regained his voice; when he’d belatedly chased after his manservant, he was already gone._

***

It had been a month. A month of the knights’ incessant questions about Merlin’s whereabouts, to which he could only reply, _I don’t know_ , because that was the truth of the matter. They were yet to ask him _why_ Merlin had left, for which he was grateful. To be honest, he wasn’t sure if saying anything other than _I don’t know_ in answer to that question would be truthful – of course he knew fundamentally: Merlin left because he had revealed to Arthur his deepest secret and Arthur had not responded fast enough to stop him. But beyond that – had Merlin thought Arthur would condemn him? Had he escaped whilst he could? Perhaps he had merely grown weary of the king, and had made the most of this opportunity to leave. Or had he been honest, leaving so that Arthur could decide on his fate without being distracted by his own affections for the man?

 _“Arthur, I have magic.”_ The words spiralled in his head even as he sparred with the knights.

 _“I was born with it. It’s part of me.”_ He knocked down Sir Leon, the blade of his sword stopping an inch from his throat.

 _“All of it, all of my magic, all of my being…”_ Leon grinned up at him, and Arthur offered him his hand to pull him up.

 _“…it’s all yours.”_ Arthur walked away from the training grounds without returning Leon’s smile.

 

***

“My lord,” Gaius greeted him with a small bow as he entered the physician’s chambers and took a seat. Arthur let himself be distracted by the purple liquid bubbling over the fireplace and merely nodded in answer to the man. Seeming to sense the king was not going to talk until he wanted to, Gaius returned to labelling various vials.

“Tell me,” Arthur commanded finally, eyes fixed on the fireplace. “Tell me everything he did.”

There was a brief silence, before Gaius sighed and bustled round the table to seat himself opposite him. “That,” he replied. “Will take some time.”

 

***

“I was upset,” he says at last, staring out the window onto the courtyard. “When you first told me. Angry, even, that you hadn’t trusted me. And then, when you left, I was angry that you could have thought I would ever do something to hurt you.”

“Arthur…”

He holds up his hand, signalling for Merlin to be quiet. “That was at first. Now…” he shrugs helplessly, turning to the warlock and taking a shuddering breath at the sight of the man he hasn’t seen for what seems like years, but in reality has been but a few months. “I understand it. To trust me you had to entrust to me your life, and you did that willingly, even if it did take years.” He grimaces. “I hope you realise that it’s been years also since I would have even considered taking your life for your magic.”

Merlin is quiet. It’s disconcerting, really – a large part of Arthur wishes that one of them could just crack a joke and they’d fall back into their familiar pattern, but he knows that’s too much to ask. It’ll be a while before they can return to their usual dynamic, but there is truly nothing he wants more. He is startled when Merlin kneels before him and bows his head, the gesture of subservience so familiar to Arthur yet so alien on his manservant. “I realise that now,” Merlin says in a low tone. “I had hoped, for such a long time, that you viewed our friendship as I did, that you would accept me even with my magic.” He looks up at Arthur. “I told you before, Arthur, and it is something that will never not be true. All of me is yours, my lord, my king, and all of me shall serve you until my last breath.”

Silence reigns once again, disturbed only by the ragged breathing from the pair, betraying the high running emotions in the room. This time, though, it is Arthur who breaks it.

“Get up Merlin. Tomorrow will be a busy day, we have a law to abolish.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!! Feedback is much appreciated!!


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